Just you and me. There's a thousand bed-and-breakfasts around.
- Honey, it's gonna be great. - It could be romantic.
GERTRUDE: Finally. - Hi.
- You're here! - Hi.
- Hi.
CALVIN: Okay. - Hi, Scotty.
- Hi. Come on. Come on, Scotty. CALVIN: Okay.
RUBY: Hi. GERTRUDE: Hello. Hi.
- Hi. I'm Ruby. - Hi, Ruby.
Hi.
Wow, your garden is so amazing.
All the plants have medicinal purposes.
CALVIN: Medicinal. GERTRUDE: Yeah.
That is very cool.
Whoa.
- This is incredible. - Yeah.
He started it in 1980 and he just keeps adding to it.
It's his masterpiece.
- Mort built all of this? - Yeah.
- Can you believe it? - Yes, I can.
And this is where we live.
RUBY: Oh, my God.
This is so beautiful.
Wow.
I feel like I'm in some kind of temple.
Oh, my God, I can't believe you said that.
- Calvin, she is so intuitive. - What? What? What?
Mort got this wood from Amish land. It was blessed.
And the bricks come from an old Catholic school that was torn down.
That's incredible.
Stainlvay, bedroom.
That's where Harry will sleep.
This is my study. Don't go in there.
I'm re-alphabetizing.
And this is where you'll be sleeping.
RUBY: Oh, it's like a little nest.
Uh, Mom, we're in here? There are no doors.
No one's interested in your business, honey.
[CHUCKLES]
Well, this is the bathroom.
We have our own well.
[CHAINSAW WHIRRING]
This is Mort's workshop!
He makes driftwood furniture!
Mon!
Mort, honey, they're here!
Hey!
Welcome!
MORT: That's a good boy, good boy.
GERTRUDE: He is such a good boy. - So, Ruby...
...did you go to art school?
No, I didn't train formally.
I just sort of picked things up here and there.
That's right. Just do it. You learn more that way, eh?
I mean, look at Calvin, eh?
Right, hijo mio? Ha-ha-ha.
Um, Mort, could you not feed Scotty?
- Aw, don't worry. He loves it. - It'll upset his stomach.
Dogs love human food. They do.
CALVIN: No, they don't. MORT: They do.
I painted when I was young.
RUBY: Did you? - Yeah.
Calvin never told me.
GERTRUDE: Well, their father didn't approve.
Because she painted porn.
- Nudes. - In positions.
It was basically porn.
I think they are very sexy, Harry.
Mort's been encouraging me to take it up again.
You should do it, Mama. You're very good at it.
Lovey.
- You're good at everything. GERTRUDE: Lovey.
MORT: Everything is so good, Mama.
GERTRUDE: Oh, sweetie. MORT: So good.
- Okay. SUSIE: Let's go, let's go.
One minute left. One minute.
RUBY & SUSIE: First word!
- A little word. - No, big word.
- Uh, if. It's. - Uh, and.
- It's. - Uh, the, the, the.
- Well, uh-- - What.
- What?
RUBY & SUSIE: What.
[IN UNISON] What.
SUSIE: Thank you, Mort. - You're on our team.
RUBY: Second word. - You're on our team.
[MORT LAUGHING]
RUBY: Uh, redwoods. HARRY: They're not gonna get it.
- You and me. Not them. Us. - Us.
RUBY: We, uh-- SUSIE: Us.
SUSIE: A girl's, uh...
- The T's and butt, um-- - Ugh!
- Babies! Girls? - Oh, boy.
- Women! - Women?
SUSIE: "What women." - Mort.
RUBY & SUSIE: "What women."
- What Women Want? - What Women Want.
[CHEERING]
MORT: Oh, they won!
- What Women Want? Who picks that? - Come over here.
- You're so good. - Mort? He picked it?
MORT: I love you. Oh, my God. You win the prize.
SUSIE: Yeah. - Yeah?
- I'm her trainer. CALVIN: But that was against the rules!
[MORT SPEAKS IN FRENCH]
[WHISPERS] Calvin.
I forgot to tell you.
Your mom said that she was gonna teach me how to bake a pie.
She says we can just go out in the garden and pick the berries ourselves.
Isn't that amazing?
She didn't used to be like this.
Like what?
When Dad was around, she wore polo shirts and cooked meat.
It's like she's been brainwashed.
I think she and Mort seem really happy.
RUBY: Ah! MORT: Calvin!
SUSIE: Watch out! MORT: Come on!
MORT: Come down here! HARRY: Hey, Calvin!
RUBY: Calvin! Calvin!
HARRY: Let's go! SUSIE: Watch out!
HARRY: The water's great, man, come on. RUBY: It's beautiful!
No, thanks.
- Oh, it's so fun. You're missing out. - I promised Langdon I'd finish his book.
Why don't you come up here with me?
Okay. enjoy yourself!
SUSIE: Mort, be careful.
Asteroid!
[SUSIE SHRIEKS]
MORT & RUBY: Yeah!
MORT: Yeah! HARRY: That was beautiful.
Now do it with me. Do it with me.
GERTRUDE: Calvin, honey?
Are you okay?
Yeah. I'm fine.
Okay.
I'm really glad you brought her.
It means a lot to me.
CALVIN: Okay.
Dinner's in a half hour.
MORT: But, hey, Harry, Harry, Harry.
- You wanna see my impression of Scotty? - Yeah.
[LAUGHS]
That makes me laugh.
Wanna see my impression of Scotty when he's really angry?
HARRY: Yeah.
SUSIE: That's so wrong.
[LAUGHING]
He's an intellectual.
[LAUGHING]
RUBY: Oh, that is good.
Uh, don't make fun of Scotty.
[LAUGHING]
Oh, calm down.
- Hey, come on. Take it. SUSIE: Oh, my God. You look so cute here.
HARRY: That was such a classic. - I told you I don't want it.
- You should try it. It's really mellow. MORT: It's all right. He doesn't need it.
- His brain is big enough. - Yeah, no, it's big.
It's so big, he can--
Just with his thoughts, he can just-- He thinks it and:
[MIMICS EXPLOSION]
- Harry? HARRY: Just...
SUSIE: Honey, not here.
One thought. I mean, he just can just, poof.
- He just, poof. - Harry, I think you've had enough.
SUSIE: Oh. - Ha-ha-ha.
- What are you talking about? - I'm talking about I love you.
HARRY: What? SUSIE: Yay, someone is ready for bed.
HARRY: Yeah, I'm definitely ready. SUSIE: Let's go.
Well, this was a great dinner.
ALL: Ooh!
- Here, let me-- Let me help you. - You know what, Mort?
- I think you've done plenty. - Uh.
MORT: Yeah. Good night. HARRY: Great, great.
- You okay? 'Yeah. you okay?
- Go. CALVIN: I'm fine.
HARRY: Big Sur, everybody.
SUSIE: Come on, crazy. HARRY: I love this place. Love you.
I think I'm gonna go inside and, uh, talk to him.
Okay.
[CHUCKLES]
I'm sorry.
No, it's okay.
As long as I know he isn't like this all the time.
- He isn't. - Oh.
Good.
Ah.
Look.
RUBY: Is that you? GERTRUDE: Heh, yes.
- Wow. - And that was Jack.
He's so handsome.
Yes, and very, very serious, just like Calvin.
- He was a golfer? CALVIN: Ruby?
MORT: Wha--? Hey. - Ruby, bed.
RUBY: Right now? - Yes.
Why won't you take it?
I want you to have it.
- What's going on? - Calvin won't accept my present.
Why not?
- Mort works hard on his furniture. MORT: Yeah.
- I call it the Lone Pine. - That's beautiful.
- Don't you like it? - Of course, he does. It's a great chair.
Come on, sit down, sit down. Just feel the wood.
Calvin...
[SYLVIE VARTAN'S "QUAND TU ES LA" PLAYING]
RUBY [SINGING]: Skinnamarinky dinky dink
Dinky do
I love you
Skinnamarinky dinky dink
Dinky do
I love you
I love you in the morning And in the afternoon
Honey, I'm trying to read.
CALVIN: Ruby?
You read your stupid book all weekend.
Your mom and Mort were trying so hard.
CALVIN: I'm sorry.
You don't have any friends.
CALVIN: I have you.
I don't need anyone else.
That's a lot of pressure.
- I'm so lonely. - No. Don't say that. Please.
What do we do?
How do we make it better?
- Maybe I could take an art class. - Great.
An art class. Get out of the house. It's good.
And I think I should start spending some nights at my apartment again.
Your apartment?
One night a week.
As an experiment.
Okay.
Hi, Scotty. Come here.
[SCOTTY BARKS]
RUBY: The teacher's just amazing.
It's kind of an older group, but the talent level's really high.
I think I'm gonna learn a lot.
- How was your night? - Terrible.
I'm sorry.
I don't think this experiment is gonna work for me.
There has to be space in the relationship.
Otherwise, it's like we're the same person.
Listen, it's one night a week. I think you can handle it.
I've gotta take a shower.
Come on, baby.
[ANDREA BOCELLl'S "LA DONNA E MOBILE" PLAYING ON RADIO]
[PHONE RINGING]
Hello?
RUBY [OVER PHONE]: Hi. - Hi. Where are you?
Um, a bunch of people from class decided to go out, so we're at this bar.
CALVIN [OVER PHONE]: When you coming home?
I don't know. We just got here.
I cooked.
Sorry, no. You know, I think that we're just gonna eat here.
I mean, we already ordered, so...
So when are you coming home?
I don't know. Your place is kind of far and we're drinking, so...
You know, I might be kind of late.
Why don't we just see each other tomorrow?
- Calvin? - Yeah.
Okay. Um, have a great time.
[PHONE RINGS]
RUBY [OVER PHONE]: Calvin, I wanna come home.
- No. - I have to pee.
Stay.
I miss you right now.
Oh, Calvin.
LINUS [ON TV]: I'd rather not talk about it. SABRINA: I'm sorry.
I always thought you walked alone.
No man walks alone from choice.
[PHONE RINGING]
- Where are you going? - To get the phone.
Can I come with you?
Two for the 7:45.
WOMAN: It's sold out. There's a 9:00.
Take a walk first?
Two for the 9.
Look at this.
[PHONE RINGING]
CALVIN: Hello?
CYRUS [OVER PHONE]: Look who answered their phone.
Cyrus, hey. Sorry, I've been busy.
- No worries, man. Busy writing? - Uh, yeah.
Yeah? Good, that's great. I keep telling them you're working on it.
The publishers are getting anxious about the new book-
Right, the new book.
- You seemed excited about it a while back- - I'm out right now--
Any progress since then? Can I give them some time line-?
- Cyrus, I'm gonna call you back. - What?
Ruby?
Ruby!
Hey. Hey, hey. What happened? I turned around and you were gone.
- You let go of my hand -l-- What?
You let go of my hand.
What--? I had to pick up the phone.
- I know, but you let go. - Ruby.
You didn't even notice I was gone.
Ruby.
Sweetie, you have to calm down.
[SOBBING]
- I'm gonna get you some water, okay? - No.
- I'll be right back.
[CRYING]
[TYPEWRITER DINGS]
[THUMPING]
[GIGGLES THEN GRUNTS]
Hi, dummy.
Hi.
[RUBY LAUGHS]
Aah, he's chasing me. Ha-ha-ha. No.
Miles. Yay, Miles.
- Thanks. RUBY: He's a water baby.
- Can I ask something? RUBY: I'm coming to get you.
Shoot.
- What if I told you I was writing again? RUBY: Oh, no, he kicked me.
Hey, that's fantastic.
- What's it about? - Um...
Writing again.
RUBY: All right! Meow! Meow! Meow!
- Oh. Hi. - How's it going?
RUBY: Good.
- Her tits? - No.
She wasn't happy.
- So I made her happy... RUBY: I'm a queen!
...and now she's like this all the time.
[RUBY GIGGLING]
What are you asking me? If it's moral? I don't know.
It's obviously working.
Think of it like Prozac.
- But how do I know it's real? - It's not, okay? She's not.
She I-- She was.
RUBY: Oh, no.
- I want to be what's making her happy... RUBY: I love you, baby.
...without making her happy.
So write "Ruby went back to normal." No big deal.
RUBY: I'm a puppy dog swimming in the water.
I think she was gonna leave me before.
Help. Help. Oh. Ha-ha-ha.
Susie left once.
When? Why didn't you tell me?
You had a lot going on.
And she came back.
But I still think about it.
I could lose her any moment.
[LAUGHS]
Step on a crack, break your mother's back.
CALVIN: I'm thinking about going away for a few months.
- By myself. - Where do you wanna go?
I don't know. Um, somewhere far.
You could send me postcards. I love getting mail.
Or I might hole up here in the house, not even go outside.
Cool.
We could build a pillow fort.
[LAUGHING]
MAN [ON TV]: This is your proving ground. Start with you, Michelle.
MICHELLE: Yes. MAN: You have a superior walk.
- I can see you doing runway, but... MICHELLE: Thank you.
What are you doing? We have Langdon's party.
- Who? - Langdon Tharp.
- The writer. His book party's tonight. - Hey, I was watching that.
- Yeah, for days. - It's a marathon.
You were always asking me to make plans for us. I did.
Don't quote me to myself. lam allowed to change my mind.
- I don't want to fight about this. - Fine, great! Let's ignore it, then.
WOMAN [ON T\/]: Now look at Sheila. Sheila has such a unique look.
MAN: And I think that's wonderful. We've all noticed it.
We love your energy.
WOMAN: Sally made a really interesting choice using that big tease...
...but it was too much.
She's not afraid to be bold.
I'm sorry.
Everything's been so up and down lately, you know?
It's like my internal compass is just gone.
Maybe I should talk to someone.
You used to see someone, didn't you?
Uh, Dr. Rosenthal.
Maybe you should go back.
I thought we were talking about you.
Yeah, yeah, we are.
Maybe you're right. Maybe I just need to get out.
See people. Be social.
This party's gonna be fun.
[DANCE MUSIC PLAYING LOUDLY ON SPEAKERS]
WARREN: Langdon. Hey, Langdon, hey.
LANGDON: Welcome to my cult.
- Cal, you have to talk to Adam and Mandi. - Who?
Adam and Mandi. The producers who wanna take over your option.
- Please, check your messages. - Cyrus, this is Ruby.
- Hi. - Ruby.
Cyrus. Nice.
- This is Saskia. - Hi.
- Okay. Come. - Hi.
Stay there, I'll be right back.
You wanna write the screenplay yourself?
CYRUS: Oh, of course. Yes, absolutely. Who else would?
I don't know. I've never written one.
My God, you're such a genius, you'd pick it up like that.
- I've been telling him that. - He doesn't like that word.
Who'd you wanna play Charlie?
ADAM: I mean, that's the question, right? MANDI: Yeah.
You should come and talk to me about it sometime.
Now, Adam and Mandi come in with experience from documentary films.
[IN UNISON] Yeah.
Everything they touch is authentic. They make it real.
- Grounded in reality and-- - We treat narrative the exact same way--
- You saw the baby documentary they did. - Yes.
ADAM: Okay. Genius. CYRUS: Made me wanna have a kid.
MANDI: You have no idea how many people told us the same thing.
CYRUS: Well, it's true. - Can you hold this just for a second?
- No, sorry, I'll be right back. - Yeah, absolutely.
- Great to talk to you. - Okay.
- Talk to you in a bit. - Okay.
CYRUS: See you later. Yeah, great. - Okay.
MAN: Excuse me. Sorry.
- Cal. - Li la.
I thought you were in New York.
Uh, no, Landgon's helping me publish my novel.
You finished your novel.
I know, it's a big surprise, the, uh-- The dilettante finished something, right?
I never said that.
- What about you? Are you writing? - Sure.
Good. Great.
- I hear you're seeing someone? - Yeah. She's here.
Excuse me.
- Is she a writer? - No.
No, a painter.
That's great. It's very, um, unthreatening.
You think I was threatened by you?
No, Cal, why would you be? You're a genius.
LANGDON: You like my pool?
- Do I know you? - I don't think so.
What are you doing at my party?
You tell me.
You come with someone?
Calvin Weir-Fields.
Ah, the boy wonder.
So are you one of those girls who only dates famous writers?
Why? Are you a famous writer?
Do you happen to have a name?
-Ruby. -Ruby.
And what do you do, Ruby?
Nothing.
How refreshing. What do you do in your spare time?
Not much.
You know, I was thinking, I was just thinking...
...tonight would be perfect for a swim.
I don't have a suit.
Is that a problem?
Never mind. I don't know why I thought maybe you'd be happy for me.
How was I anything but supportive?
I read every draft. I took you into my group.
- I introduced you to Langdon. - Begrudgingly.
- What? I literally can't hear you. - Begrudgingly.
You weren't curious about me. You never were.
You just had this image of who I was.
And anything that I did that contradicted it, you just ignored.
What image? Where you left me as soon as I wasn't successful?
You think I gave a shit if you were famous?
All that I wanted was for you, I don't know, to care about me.
Care about you? You left weeks after my father died.
- Do you wanna talk about caring? - Oh, God.
- Do you know what people say? - You were impenetrable.
-"How'd you love that person?" - I tried to help.
- You refused to let me in. - And I say, "I have no fucking clue!"
The only person that you wanted to be in a relationship with was you.
Sol let you do that.
You really let yourself off the hook, don't you?
- Goodbye, Cal. - Good bye.
Have a great life.
Come on. It's nice and warm. Swim to me.
You can keep your underwear on if you like.
Come on in.
- No peeking. - All right, I promise, I won't peek.
All right.
Mm.
Oh, boy.
LANGDON: Writing is sensual. It's, uh...
You should see me when I write. I'm like an Olympian.
RUBY: Oh, really? LANGDON: I wield my pen...
- Your pen? -...like a lightsaber.
- What's going on here? - Calvin.
We, uh-- We thought we'd take a dip.
Care to join us?
[TIRE SCREECHING]
- What was that? - What was what?
- You know what. - Grow up.
Scotty.
- Hey. - Hey! You're hurting me.
Explain what you were doing.
You left me alone at a party where I didn't know anyone.
- I found someone to talk to. - In your underwear.
RUBY: Would you have been mad if I had been in my bikini?
CALVIN: You weren't wearing your bikini.
Do you know what it looked like?
My agent was there. My ex was there.
Lila was there? Why didn't you tell me?
I was too busy getting you to put your clothes back on.
- You're supposed to be my girlfriend. - I am your girlfriend.
So act like it.
I'm sorry I wasn't acting like the platonic ideal of your girlfriend.
Jesus, you can be such a fucking prude.
I don't want you skinny-dipping with men?
Because you don't want me doing anything!
You have all these rules and you don't tell me what they are...
...until, whoops, I've broken one.
And then you get to be disappointed with me?
Okay. Uh, do you wanna know my rules?
Don't fuck other men. Don't let them think about fucking you.
Now I'm responsible for what people think?
Yes, you are responsible. When you act a certain way, it leads people on.
When you take your clothes off at a party, people think you're a slut.
So I'd really prefer if you didn't do that. Is that clear enough for you?
Fuck you!
I'm not your child!
You don't get to decide what I do.
- Wanna bet? - What?
I'm pretty sure I could make you do whatever I want.
What are you gonna do, Calvin? Tie me up?
No.
I don't have to.
Calvin...
...I'm gonna calla cab.
Let's talk tomorrow, okay?
Calvin.
[TYPEWRITER DINGS]
Fine. Go.
Fuck!
What was that?
You didn't feel that?
Aah!
What is that?
What the fuck is going on?
Calvin.
- Aah! Oh, my God, something is happening. - Here. Read.
What is this?
My book.
The one I haven't been working on.
Wanna see?
Is this some sort of joke?
No. It's pretty serious.
You're writing about me?
No, you can't write about me. That's private.
I'm not writing about you.
I wrote you.
I made you up.
- What? CALVIN: I had a dream about a girl.
So I wrote it down.
I gave her a name.
Ruby.
I wrote all kinds of things about her and then one day I woke up and she--
You were living in my house.
I can make you do anything...
...because you're not real.
You're sick.
Calvin?
Listen to me.
If this is how you think about people...
...then you are in for along, lonely fucked-up life.
Do you hear me? Calvin?
[IN FRENCH]
See. "Ruby speaks French."
I told you I could make you do anything.
I write it.
You do it.
[FINGERS SNAPPING]
[SINGING] Skinnamarinky dinky dink dinky do
I love you
Skinnamarinky dinky dink
Dinky do
I love you
I love you in the morning
[BARKING]
[SNARLING]
[BARKING]
I love you.
I'll never leave you. I love you.
I'll never leave you.
I love you. I'll never leave you.
I love your mouth. I love your nose.
I love your butt. I love your eyes.
I love your belly. I love your ears.
I love your cock. I love your nose.
I love your mouth. I love you so much.
I'll love you forever and ever and ever and ever.
You're a genius. You're a genius. You're a genius.
You're a genius. You're a genius.
You're a genius.
[RUBY PANTING]
[SOBBING]
CALVIN: Rub--
[DOOR SLAMS]
[SOBBING]
HARRY: Calvin?
Calvin.
You okay?
She's gone.
It's okay, buddy.
Okay.
Nothing helps.
- When was the last time you wrote, Cal? - I can't write.
Sure you can.
That's what you have over every other poor schmuck out there with a broken heart.
You can write about it.
And who would wanna read that?
Lots of people.
Why not?
You got a pretty great story.
CALVIN: Everyone will think I'm crazy.
HARRY: No.
They'll think it's fiction.
CALVIN: This is the true and impossible story of my very great love.
In the hope that she will not read this and reproach me...
...I have withheld many telling details.
Her name...
...the particulars of her birth and upbringing...
...and any identifying scars or birthmarks.
All the same, I cannot help but write this for her.
To tell her:
"I'm sorry for every word I wrote to change you.
I'm sorry for so many things.
I couldn't see you when you were here.
And now that you're gone, I see you everywhere. "
CALVIN: "One may read this and think it's magic...
...but falling in love is an act of magic.
So is writing.
It was once said of Catcher in the Rye:
'That rare miracle of fiction has again come to pass.
A human being has been created out of ink, paper and the imagination.'
I am no J.D. Salinger...
...but I have witnessed a rare miracle.
Any writer can attest...
...in the luckiest, happiest state...
...the words are not coming from you, but through you.
She came to me wholly herself.
I was just lucky enough to be there to catch her."
Thank you.
Doesn't his imagination just, uh, blow you away?
I mean, where does he come up with these ideas?
- Right? SUSIE: Yeah.
- Genius. - I don't know.
I don't know.
- How are you? - What's up?
It's beautiful, Calvin.
Thank you.
Most of my patients don't take my assignments this seriously.
I know you hoped that, by writing this, I would realize that it never happened.
That I imagined her.
But the thing is...
...I don't need to make sense of this.
I don't care if there's no good explanation.
I need you to believe me anyway.
Just take the leap.
At least imagine how it could be true.
For me.
I'll work on that.
Go potty.
Scotty. Scotty.
[SCOTTY BARKS]
Scotty.
- Oh, hi. - Sorry.
- Hi. CALVIN: Sorry, he's mine.
It's fine. He's so friendly.
- What's his name? - Scotty.
Scotty. That's funny, that's--
That's the name of the dog in this book.
Have you read it?
Did you like it?
Sorry. Did you say something?
Yeah, I just asked if you liked it.
Uh, what do you think?
My friend who lent it to me thought it was kind of pretentious...
...but I really like it so far.
Have we met before?
I don't know.
You seem really familiar.
Maybe we knew each other in another life.
Or maybe we just go to the same coffee shop.
What do you do besides go for walks with your dog?
Um...
I'm a writer.
What do you write?
So that's why you look so familiar.
Maybe.
I was kidding about my friend calling it pretentious.
It's okay.
Can we start over?
Yes.
[LAUGHS]
- May I sit down? - Oh, please.
Just don't tell me how it ends, okay?
Promise.
[English - US - SDH]